Well, now seems to be about the right time for an update, after all a fair amount has finally happened to me in a very short space of time. I am still trying to get to grips with it all and what it all means but it is slowly starting to sink in. So, what on earth has been going on? Its best I take this from the top.

About three weeks ago I had decided I had had just about all I could take from Somerfield, I needed to get out and start doing something with my life. To this end I handed in my resignation and moved out and in with Joe. It has been the best decision I have ever made. Its been a little rough for a couple of weeks whilst I tried to find employment but it would seem that it is now at an end.

I have secured one job already, its only temporary though working for oxford semiconductors performing test on various bits of embedded kit running linux and checking it will work with other OS's. The job that I really want should be getting back to me shortly, a java programming job up ibn Herts for 22k a year. I have also been approached by bloomberg who want to interview me tomorrow on the phone so more details for that are to come.

The only problem I have with this is that I also start working for OxSemi tomorrow so things could get interesting, Ill probably take an early break and do try and do the interview then. My main concern at the moment is the length of drive it is from here to Oxford, one hour each way, it could be a lot worse but given the roads that I have to travel on (M4, M25) I just hope that I will be able to miss all the traffic since i start at 8.30 and finish at 5.30. Still beats 6am at SF.

Hopefully I shall be acquiring a new phone, I shall most certainly be needing it along with a blue tooth headset so I can keep people posted of anything that happens on the way to and from work. Guess its just a case of see how things go now but once I have started work, things should get easier although I am still on the look out for other jobs.

This weekend will see me back in the midlands since its my sisters birthday, I thought I had better put in an appearance for that one. It will be nice to see her although I am not looking forward to the Spanish inquisition form parents.

So, this is the second time this year I have had to visit a hospital. Im not amused. Turns out that I have managed to do some damage to the muscles in my back, especially the ones in the right side. I have been put onto ibuprofen and co-codamol at the same time and I will have to go and see the doctor tomorrow. Im not allowed to drive, I have to sit up straight, perform regular exercises, sit with a rolled towel behind the base of the back for support, have to try and keep moving and keep my back warm all of the time.

Ah well, at least its a week off work for the moment. Hopefully the drugs I have been given for the pain will kick in, if not then I will end up on vallium or Diazapan, goodie. In the mean time, I am still waiting for soemthing to come back on the job front. If there is one thing this incident with the back has proven, I can not stay in retail. I hope something good happens soon.

I knew there was a reason I got a car... I have been painfully reminded of what the reason is today. I took the train home yesterday to go and pick up my car, by the time I got home I was experincing pain in my back when ever I was either bending down or reaching for something. I thought nothing of it since I normally feel a bit of discomfort after being on the trains... but it kept reoccuring quite intensly. When I got up this morning, I was unable to move. The same things as has happend before with my back. With some help for my sister I managed to get myself down stairs and lying on the floor where I stayed until my parents got back.

I hope this will relieve itself soon because I really need to get back, I have work to go to. Although the pain is really unbearable at the moment. I think I might well end up taking tomorrow off too, even if I manage to get back to Aber tomorrow, I will probably spend the tonight and tomorrow on the floor. Never, ever use UK public transport ¬_¬.

I can't sleep at the moment, my mind is too active so I thought I would write a blog entry and see if I might be able to sleep once done. For the past two weeks or so I have had alot of thinking to do. I have spent the past ten months living in Aber after finishing the degree for a mental break but now I think I am ready and craving some form of mental stimulus again. I have been doing nothing except a brain dead job with Somerfield, despite this, I feel that it was still time well spent, not only due to recovery, but I have also learnt alot about myself and the nature of the employment I need.

I can not tollerate people who are "laid back" in their approach to work, people whom lack any form of motivation. I don't like people that waste time over simple things or people that just avoid work all together. As far as I am concerned, by all means have a play around, spend time chatting, heck even play games, as long as you do what needs to be done is done. I seem to get on better when people leave me alone to work and not stand over watching my every move. I also think that people should lead by example rather than bark instructions from their lofty pedestals whilst doing nothing themselves. This is just a small glimps of what I could say but none the less it is important.

There has been the posibility of perhaps staying with SF and progressing onto store manager in as little as 18 moths, despite being able to do the job and probably be able to do it well, I think perhaps Paula is right and that it is the wrong choice for me - I have been giving it alot of thought and I cant help but have a distaste for the retail industry. I feel far more comfortable working with IT and I think that is probably where I should be. SF is poorly managed at best, short staffed continually and the work is something which is mind numbing. I dont feel there is much there to actually challenge me. I think what keeps me going at the moment are the people that I work with but the underlying job is tedious.

My current thoughts are along the following lines:
I could well stay and in 18 months become a manager, however, at the same time I could be gaining experience in the IT industry to move onto better things. I have no form of garuntee that if I stay that I will end up on the proposed course but knowing the track record of SF, those 18 months would probably end up being the same as current without much progression. If there is one thing the manager is famed for, its being completely ineffectual - would I really put my careere in his hands? I also doubt that much would really change in the long term, certaintly the nature of the job at its core would be the same, just from a diffrent perspective. Whilst it might well be a nice thing to write on the CV (if it ever were to actually happen) can I really put up with the industry for that long? Another way I have considered it is that I have spent 3 years gaining an understaning of something I enjoy and learning quite high level skills. Despite this, I do an unskilled job or stay and throw away a good chunk of what I have learnt in favour of something completely different? SF seem to think that I am currently worth £10K PA... I know they are wrong and that I am worth a damn sight more.

If two jobs were to come up at the same time, each pretty much equal in terms of conditions, benifits etc but one were in the IT industry, the other in retail, without fail I would choose IT. This is why I am leaning towards leaving. I suppose there is a part of me that is aprehensive, almost scared to leave but it is something I really should do and perhaps from the outside it may well look like I am putting it off for no real reason. On saying that though, there is a reason. I am actually quite happy in Aber, I really do like the place but there is nothing really here for me. Perhaps it is time to move on.

As far as I can see, there are three outcomes to my present situation:

1) I get another job and move somewhere else in the tech sector.
2) I stay in Aber and work for SF, putting up with the incompetance.
3) I end up dossing around at my parents home - that is something I REALLY do NOT want to do on personal grounds.

I need to make a decision soon though, not for my sake but for Sheepys. I can not leave her hanging for weeks on end whilst I um an ar. I think perhaps I should just run with leaving and hope for the best but I still have my own reservations. I also have some other things to consider, more specificly another person, someone that means alot to me and I would like to spend more of my time with, I would like to move closer to him and be with him more than I am now.

Its funny how I have been guided into making applications over the past couple of days - perhaps there is something in that, something that is trying to tell me what I should do. I only wrote my CV because Joe stayed up with me when I got back from work and was very firm in telling me how I had procrastinated and if I wasnt going to do it now, exactly when would I start, if ever? That pretty much punted me into action and I submitted it to a site. The following day, a plesant suprise came in the form of Khang. It was this visit that caused me to make several applications this morning, its difficult to explain why. I think its perhaps looking at KP I see him doing a job that I know I could do and indeed should be doing. So why am I doing this right now? Perhaps there was also a small bit of envy in there too at him having a new car compared to me bearly being able to afford what I have now but that only played a very minor part, there is something else when I think about this, I just cant explain it, I am convinced that fate, the universe, Ki, Karma whatever you want to call it is telling me its time to leave.

To this end, I have applied for a total of 14 jobs today in a variety of locations and in a variety of fields. Already I have had one rejection note back but I dont care. I will tomorrow be looking to apply to atleast 14 more. I WILL GET A JOB, I will damn well make sure of that. For the supersticious type though, I ask that you wish me luck in this endevour, I think I might well need it.

In other news, I will find out if my car passed its MOT tomorrow around lunch time. My brother has also managed to track down the source of the cluncking we have been hearing - the one that I told him was coming from the back of the car but he was insistant it was the front. Turns out that one of the springs on the rear drivers side strut for the spension has broken. With that replaced, perhaps it should be alot smoother and quieter too, heres hoping at least.

Lets hope tomorrow brings me some good news for the car and that monday morning will see a request for an interview from maybe one of those companies I applied for. If not, I shall start again, although I think another round of applications in tomorrow would not go amiss.

Why is it that a person can be some distance away and yet still cause major problems? Case in point - my brother. Now he is a twat at the best of times and I really can not stand him but his latest brain wave really has managed to cause problems. "Lets have a family party at new years". Oh yes, great idea! why not? Why dont we all get together for the usual punch-up that always happens when ever we hold such gatherings? And why dont we make this complete as well, lets have the usual arguments betweent he various branches, lets have half not turn up, lets have everyone getting pissed and the going home leaving just two people to do all of the cleaning and picking up of the pieces? I think not. I will have no part in this. At best I will end up stuck behind a rig haveing a crap time whilst I am the only one actually doing any work, thats if anyone even bothers to actually get up since no one wants to be there. At worst, well I dare not think, not after the last one.

So last night, I ended up spending almost an hour on the phone upsetting my mum telling her the exact reasons why I will not go and inevitably upsetting her. She claims that perhaps just once it might no happen and that I should try not being so cynical... why the hell should I? Exactly what has changed? Nothing. In fact, with the current situation it will only take something very minor to spark of the usual chain of events so why would I volunteer to subject myself and others to this? If they want to spend their new years sorting out problems such as that then that is their decision, not mine. Personally, I plan to spend my new years with Joe, somewhere I actually want to be and know I will enjoy. Plus, it is far too early in the year for me to say exactly where I will be, my situation is currently changing and by new years I have no idea where I will be.